Valentine's Day Slasher-fest

Valentine's day is over (again, Thank God). While I am not against love spending my 15th Valentine's day alone (alone=no romantic love interest) was not something I was looking forward to. This year, like the previous years, I had a Valentine's day slasher-fest watching: Halloween, the Rob Zombie remake which I must say was so much better than the original and, Naima, which is essentially an Indian remake of the Japanese movie, The Eye. I made sure that I didn't leave the house. Just the idea of seeing all the couples turned my stomach, I didn't want to actually see them. I find myself feeling more and more alone. While this is depressing it is actually a step in the right direction. For years, when I was so sick I wasn't working, I would have times when I didn't care to meet or see other people. I just wanted to shut myself off from the world and so I did. Now that I am happy with my work situation and happier in general with my life I feel a yearning to talk to people and a yearning to date again. Unfortunately I have a very difficult time meeting new people and have few friends and those friends are married with children and really don't have time to just talk. It's like I am in a foreign country sometimes. I don't know how to act, what to talk about or how to approach a situation. While I have never been all that great with the meeting guys thing, before I was sick I was good at meeting new people and making friends. Now it's like that has all left me.Meeting men hasn't been happening either. Part of the reason is that the last man I fell in love with just dropped me out of his life. We weren't dating but there was something between us and I fell so hard for him. I also worked so hard to get him to commit to something, anything in regards to his feelings for me. I thought we were at the very least friends. But when I needed someone the most last year when I was in the hospital, he wasn't there. He didn't call and for a month I was in agony over that. I think that hurt more than being fired for seeking medical help. When he finally did call it was to see if I had found a new job. That was it! No "Are U OK?" or "How are U doing?" no caring tone. Then I didn't hear from him for 4 months! No call on my birthday (which I share with a family relative of his so it's not like he forgot), no Happy Thanksgiving, no nothing. Things were weird because we worked together and I think that is why he had such a problem with committing to any feelings for me and now I am not working there and he is still working there. Things are weird. I have vented my anger in private regarding my feelings about what he did or didn't do or what I did because of my feelings for him and the betrayal I felt when things abruptly ended. I never said those things to him. He has no idea how hurt I feel about this. Maybe that is why I can't meet a man, the one man I trusted in over a decade totally betrayed me. Why can't I find a man who wants to be with me and isn't afraid to just say it?